Reading The Wheel of Time (Part 10)

Chapter 45

black

Moiraine: Okay, let’s have a break.

Perrin: I go hunt, hgggrrrr

Rand: ……..

Lan: Something is following us.

In the distance:

gollum

Loial: Ta’veren.

Loial: Ta’veren.

Loial: *nods* Ta’veren!

Rand: …. Moiraine, I think Loial is broken…

Moiraine: The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. You are Ta’veren.

Loial: Ta’veren!

Rand: Oh ffs….
Chapter 46 & 47

Accurate depiction of Lan riding into Fal Dara:

aragorn

Padan Fain: …We haaate the Dark Lord!

Padan Fain: No! We love the Dark Lord!

Padan Fain: We hateeessss Trolloccsesssss

Padan Fain: No, no my precious!

Chapter 48

Lan: Over there is the Mountain of Dhoom!

Mat: Doom?

Lan: Dhoom!

 

Mrs. Jordan: Darling, write down that Rand thinks Lan is like an onion-

Mr. Jordan: What? Because he smells?!

Mrs. Jordan: No?!

Mr. Jordan: Because he makes people cry…?

Mrs. Jordan: …..

Mr. Jordan: ….because he tastes good when you fry him in a pan…?

Mrs. Jordan: LAYERS! BECAUSE HE HAS LAYERS!!

Mr. Jordan: *mutters* I still prefer stones…..

 

Nynaeve: Soooo….. are we gonna get married or what?

Reader: …. I think they missed a few steps!

Lan: ….. I feel like I should take you out on a date first..

Chapter 49

Moiraine: Don’t touch this branch! It will kill you! Don’t step there! You will die! Don’t look at this animal! It will eat your soul!

Rand: So is the Blight basically the Australian outback…?

Chapter 50

groot

The team meets the Green Man, who is protecting the Eye of the World. They seem to be safe for now, until….

The Forsaken: Hey!

Moiraine: Brb

Chapter 51

Rand faces Ba’alzamon! While trying to push him back he accidentally uses the One Power and escapes. Ba’alzamon is defeated for now. At least that’s how it looks like. I mean..

Chapter 52 & 53

Rand: Guys! I KILLED THE DARK LORD!

Moiraine: LMAO! ARE YOU JOKING? This is only the 1st of 14 books, you fool!!! WAHAHAHAHA

Moiraine: Oh, yes, of course *I* suspected that you were the One with the power from the start.

THE END


All counters

Mustache tugging or chewing: IIIII II

Braid chewing: I

Comparing Lan’s face to a stone/rock: IIIII IIIII III

Comparing Lan to a wolf: IIII

Nynaeve being snappy: uncountable

Rand killing the Dark Lord: 0


The Read Along will continue NEXT WEEK with The Great Hunt!

I hope you all enjoyed this different kind of Read Along. I actually had lots of fun reading, despite Mat, Nynaeve and some minor annoyances. The world is freaking AWESOME and Rand is not so bad to be honest. I can’t wait to get back to the Wheel!

9 comments

  1. These never fail to amuse. You’ve definitely got a flair for it πŸ˜€

    I just started the Great Hunt and it is SO much better. At least in regards to all the characters. Matt isn’t a total jerk all the time, so that’s a huge improvement…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for the support throughout the whole series of posts, Bookstooge! I really appreciate it!

      I haven’t read too much about Mat in book 2 yet, it’s more the ‘Rand goes crazy’ & ‘Aes Sedai scheming’- show πŸ˜€ But very intriguing tbh

      Liked by 1 person

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