Moiraine: Okay, let’s have a break.
Perrin: I go hunt, hgggrrrr
Lan: Something is following us.
In the distance:
Loial: *nods* Ta’veren!
Rand: …. Moiraine, I think Loial is broken…
Moiraine: The Wheel weaves as the Wheel wills. You are Ta’veren.
Rand: Oh ffs….
Chapter 46 & 47
Accurate depiction of Lan riding into Fal Dara:
Padan Fain: …We haaate the Dark Lord!
Padan Fain: No! We love the Dark Lord!
Padan Fain: We hateeessss Trolloccsesssss
Padan Fain: No, no my precious!
Lan: Over there is the Mountain of Dhoom!
Mrs. Jordan: Darling, write down that Rand thinks Lan is like an onion-
Mr. Jordan: What? Because he smells?!
Mrs. Jordan: No?!
Mr. Jordan: Because he makes people cry…?
Mrs. Jordan: …..
Mr. Jordan: ….because he tastes good when you fry him in a pan…?
Mrs. Jordan: LAYERS! BECAUSE HE HAS LAYERS!!
Mr. Jordan: *mutters* I still prefer stones…..
Nynaeve: Soooo….. are we gonna get married or what?
Reader: …. I think they missed a few steps!
Lan: ….. I feel like I should take you out on a date first..
Moiraine: Don’t touch this branch! It will kill you! Don’t step there! You will die! Don’t look at this animal! It will eat your soul!
Rand: So is the Blight basically the Australian outback…?
The team meets the Green Man, who is protecting the Eye of the World. They seem to be safe for now, until….
The Forsaken: Hey!
Rand faces Ba’alzamon! While trying to push him back he accidentally uses the One Power and escapes. Ba’alzamon is defeated for now. At least that’s how it looks like. I mean..
Chapter 52 & 53
Rand: Guys! I KILLED THE DARK LORD!
Moiraine: LMAO! ARE YOU JOKING? This is only the 1st of 14 books, you fool!!! WAHAHAHAHA
Moiraine: Oh, yes, of course *I* suspected that you were the One with the power from the start.
Mustache tugging or chewing: IIIII II
Braid chewing: I
Comparing Lan’s face to a stone/rock: IIIII IIIII III
Comparing Lan to a wolf: IIII
Nynaeve being snappy: uncountable
Rand killing the Dark Lord: 0
The Read Along will continue NEXT WEEK with The Great Hunt!
I hope you all enjoyed this different kind of Read Along. I actually had lots of fun reading, despite Mat, Nynaeve and some minor annoyances. The world is freaking AWESOME and Rand is not so bad to be honest. I can’t wait to get back to the Wheel!