Reading the Wheel of Time (Part 7)

Chapter 29 & 30

Whitecloaks: Hi! We are here!

Perrin & Egwene: Listen. We are not Darkfriends

Whitecloak 1: YES YOU ARE

Perrin: No

Whitecloak 2: YES

Whitecloak 1: *lectures*

Whitecloak 2: *is unreasonably angry*

Chapter 31

Rand: Hey Mat, how do you feel about selling that dagger? Considering it has a ruby on it and we’re broke af.

Mat: HOW DARE YOU IT’S MY PRECIOUS I’VE HAD IT FOR A WHOLE 3 DAYS NOW WE’RE BONDED OK? YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.

Mat:Jay White

(..This is Pro Wrestler ‘Switchblade’ Jay White. Also known as ‘Knife Pervert’. He’d make an excellent Mat!)

-IMPORTANT INFORMATION-

The very first hair-chewing incident occurs on page 433 and the culprit is farmer’s daughter Else. She chews on her pigtail while eyeing off Rand.

We can officially start the counter now!

Braid-chewing: I

No skirt-smoothing yet, but I’m sure we’re not far off!

Chapter 32 – 34

Welcome to another episode of Mat n’ Rand’s culinary journey along the Caemlyn Road! Learn about all the best inns, where to find entertainment and where to eat! We also have a list of farmstays in the area and review popular horse-carriage rides.

Bonus Material: How to ALWAYS make sure you run into Darkfriends.

Mrs. Jordan: ….darling, didn’t you want to write about magic, heroes, epic sword-fights and Dark Lords..?

Mr.. Jordan: Yes, yes…. lemme just tell you how many potatoes Mat is having for lunch first.


All counters so far

Mustache tugging or chewing: IIIII II

Braid chewing: I

Comparing Lan’s face to a stone/rock: IIIII IIIII

Comparing Lan to a wolf: III

Nynaeve being snappy: uncountable

11 comments

  1. Oh, Mrs Jordan is as much to blame as Jordan himself. She was his editor for goodness sake! Personally, I think he smooth talked her so she’d let him write what he wanted to instead of what she knew he needed to. Dang husbands, always smooth talking their wives into things 😀

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s