Chapter 29 & 30
Whitecloaks: Hi! We are here!
Perrin & Egwene: Listen. We are not Darkfriends
Whitecloak 1: YES YOU ARE
Whitecloak 2: YES
Whitecloak 1: *lectures*
Whitecloak 2: *is unreasonably angry*
Rand: Hey Mat, how do you feel about selling that dagger? Considering it has a ruby on it and we’re broke af.
Mat: HOW DARE YOU IT’S MY PRECIOUS I’VE HAD IT FOR A WHOLE 3 DAYS NOW WE’RE BONDED OK? YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND.
(..This is Pro Wrestler ‘Switchblade’ Jay White. Also known as ‘Knife Pervert’. He’d make an excellent Mat!)
The very first hair-chewing incident occurs on page 433 and the culprit is farmer’s daughter Else. She chews on her pigtail while eyeing off Rand.
We can officially start the counter now!
No skirt-smoothing yet, but I’m sure we’re not far off!
Chapter 32 – 34
Welcome to another episode of Mat n’ Rand’s culinary journey along the Caemlyn Road! Learn about all the best inns, where to find entertainment and where to eat! We also have a list of farmstays in the area and review popular horse-carriage rides.
Bonus Material: How to ALWAYS make sure you run into Darkfriends.
Mrs. Jordan: ….darling, didn’t you want to write about magic, heroes, epic sword-fights and Dark Lords..?
Mr.. Jordan: Yes, yes…. lemme just tell you how many potatoes Mat is having for lunch first.
All counters so far
Mustache tugging or chewing: IIIII II
Braid chewing: I
Comparing Lan’s face to a stone/rock: IIIII IIIII
Comparing Lan to a wolf: III
Nynaeve being snappy: uncountable