The Smashing & Dashing 2016 Character Awards

This idea comes from Cait @Paper Fury and I had to steal it 🙂 This is going to be a bit hard, as I haven’t read so many books this year!

1. MOST RELATABLE CHARACTER

Probably Devin Jones from Stephen King’s Joyland. He got left by his college sweetheart and spends the summer heartbroken as a worker in a haunted amusement park. I CAN FEEL YOUR PAIN, DUDE! We all went through this at some point, didn’t we? I mean, not the haunted amusement park business, but being left by someone we loved and getting on with life. I liked Devin, as he wasn’t just a whiny annoying character. And they OFTEN turn out like that in his situation.

2. MOST PURE AND PRECIOUS ANIMAL COMPANION

This one’s the easiest. Of course it’s Temeraire from Naomi Novik’s His Majesty’s Dragon. A gorgeous, intelligent and loyal dragon that you HAVE TO LOVE! IF HE EVER DIES I WILL COMPLAIN ONLINE!

3. FIERCEST FIGHTER

Um, I read Brock Lesnar‘s Biography. Does he count? He’s a real person, but I couldn’t think of any of my book characters this year being more fierce! They are not on steroids though….

Sorry, Brock! I still love you 🙂

4. MOST AMAZING SIDEKICK

Wayne from Brandon Sanderson’s second Mistborn Series. He’s the funniest sidekick ever and sometimes he even is useful. If you don’t give him a gun.

5. ONE YOU’RE SURPRISED YOU LOVED

Han Alister from Cinda Williams Chima’s The Demon King. I was convinced that he’d be the one I would hate most as he fit the CHOSEN ONE-mold so perfectly. But his development was a little different and he turned out to be a likeable character. Bit unbelievable. But still surprised me.

Also, Steris from Sanderson’s Wax & Wayne Series surprised me so much and after I hated her in the first book, she slowly turned into one of my favourites.

6. BEST SASSMASTER

Marla Wolfblade from Jennifer Fallon’s The Lyre Thief. Being SASSQUEEN since FOREVER!

Also, Eric from Rebecca Levene’s The Hollow Gods Series. My favourite little man-whore.

7. BEST ANTI-HERO AND MORALLY GREY GRAPE

Raven from The Black Company by Glen Cook. My favourite anti-hero this year, probably. He only does, what’s in his best interest. Could have won the fiercest Fighter award easily as well, but for Brock. Brock would eat him for breakfast.

8. BEST WORST VILLAIN TO HATE

Hmmm…probably the evil Sorcerer dude from The Demon King by Cinda Williams Chima. I forgot his name. Micah Bayar’s daddy. He’s really bad at scheming and lets the princess get away waaaaay too easily. SURE, JUST STEP OUT OF THE DOOR, I TRUST YOU TO COME BACK! WHY WOULDN’T YOU? I JUST TOLD YOU I’M GONNA FORCE-MARRY YOU TO MY SNEAKY, EVIL SON! WAHAHA, I AM SO CLEVER! ..where’s she?

11. TOOT TOOT BEST SHIP OF THEM ALL

R’Shiel and Brak from Fallon’s The Lyre Thief. AND HE DIDN’T EVEN APPEAR IN IT! I can wait though.. I will. It will happen in the next book. PLEASE!

12. THE MOST IN NEED OF PROTECTION

Definitely Krish from Rebecca Levene’s Hollow Gods Series. He’s getting there and it’s not that he’s not brave and everything. He’s pretty cunning and can be ruthless, but also small, skinny and not in good health! He needs his mate Dae Hyo, and their bromance is essential for the story!!

13. MOST BORING AS A BARNACLE

Take this award, Benedict! The Aeronaut’s Windlass by Jim Butcher was a real let down for me, as I was expecting so much more. But Benedict was seriously the worst character in it. At least that talking cat was cute. Benedict was sooo bland and I just wanted him to die.

15. VERY SURPRISED YOU’RE STILL ALIVE

Has to be freaking David from Sanderson’s Calamity. THAT is some serious plot armor. He can basically walk right in font of the most powerful villain and still get away with it. It took away a lot of tension – knowing that David will make it through everything anyways.

16. BEST AT HORRIBLE DECISION MAKING

Look at question 8, THERE YOU HAVE HIM! I HOPE YOU ARE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF! Also, The whole cast of The Mortal Tally. They whine and kill and whine and kill and whine and kill and kill some more and talk about never wanting to kill again. And then they start hating on each other. It’s frustrating.

17. CUTEST DORK

Steris from Sanderson’s Wax & Wayne Series. Again. I just love her. She’s so obsessed with lists and being proper and planning. Freaking planning everything! But she’s so funny and adorable and not boring as she thinks she is. I want to marry her.

18. CLEVEREST LITTLE HELLION

I want to name Toby from Margaret Atwood’s MaddAddam. She’s a woman who knows how to survive and what’s important to know & do after the world ended.

19. MOST IN NEED OF A NAP

Lee Harden, from The Remaining. I am talking to you, Sir! Stop rescuing useless people from Zombies and protect yourself first! Have a nap, make a plan AND KEEP YOUR DOG CLOSE!

20. WANT TO READ MORE ABOUT YOU

Please, I want to read more about R’Shiel (and Brak) in Jennifer Fallon’s next book! I know they are not the main characters anymore… But I still need more!!

You might have noticed I skipped a few questions. I am sorry! I couldn’t think of anything there.. I will give you an extra one though:

21. MOST HORRIBLE CHARACTER

Congratulations, Maureen Jellison from Lucifer’s Hammer! For being the worst possible person in the apocalypse. Apart from having sex with several men who all fall for you and feeling sorry for yourself, you are doing fuck all!